Celebrating Pride: An interview with Flt Lt Caroline Paige

For Pride this month, we’re revisiting our conversation with Flight Lieutenant Caroline Paige about her career in the RAF, her experience of transitioning in the armed forces and her work today for the LGBTQ+ community.

What was your role/rank in the RAF and how long did you serve for?

I joined the RAF in January 1980 and served until November 2014, retiring as a Flight Lieutenant. I joined 28 (AC) Squadron in 2000, as it reformed to receive the RAF’s first Merlin helicopters and became the lead tactics and platform protection specialist, flying operational missions with an additional responsibility to evaluate and teach tactics and platform protection systems to frontline aircrew.

After a lifetime of having to hide my gender identity, I sought the support of my unit medical officer and, in February 1999, we gained permission for me to transition gender and remain in service, unexpectedly becoming the first openly serving transgender officer in the British Armed Forces. 

What were some of your highlights serving in the RAF?

My main highlights were the aircraft and roles I flew, the places I went, and the wonderful people I met and worked with. Operational flying in fast jets and tactical helicopters is always challenging, it’s the nature of the job in all military flying, but the incredible challenges made it even more rewarding. 

What were some of your challenges serving in the RAF?

My biggest personal challenge was of course transitioning gender in a military that, back then, was hostile to the very idea of LGBT+ service. I grew up in an Army family and was aware of my conflicting gender identity from the age of five, but I soon learned that questioning my own gender wasn’t acceptable, especially a boy identifying as a girl. My family was influenced by the prejudice behind a ban, known at the time as ‘the gay ban’, which in fact barred LGBT+ military service, as no-one understood the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, and the acronym LGBT wasn’t yet in common use, so being gender diverse usually carried the assumption of being gay. 

I decided I needed to live my life truly and accept the consequences I feared the most - losing my family, friends, and career, or I would lose me. I became the first to transition gender in the RAF and remain in service. 

How did it/does it feel to be the first transgender officer to transition and serve openly in the UK military?

Being allowed to transition gender and remain in service was a truly incredible experience, finally being allowed to be me, properly, openly, and to live my life how I had always dreamt of doing, but never believing it could become possible; it was just staggering! I was proud, and incredibly happy, the happiest I had ever been, but also worried and nervous, as to how people would react. 

I am proud of my achievements facing some quite incredible challenges, but I am prouder of those who supported me during those times, as friends, colleagues, and allies.

What was your experience like transitioning while in the Armed Forces?

I made some great new friendships as Caroline, but as word got out, I began to receive negative reactions and opinions. My only defence became to smile back, which seemed to defuse most situations. It seemed that although the RAF had said I could stay, nobody else wanted me to. I was declared 'a danger and a liability to colleagues, especially on operations' when I was outed on the front page of a newspaper, with public comment sadly agreeing I shouldn’t be allowed to serve. But then people started to speak up, positively, and I saw hope.

On 12th January 2000 the ban was lifted, and within a few years an LGBT support network began to grow in each service. I connected with the Joint Services Equality and Diversity Training Centre and agreed to do talks and speak at conferences, using my story to raise awareness. 

Do you think attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community in the military has changed over the years?

Today's military is openly and rightly proudly inclusive, but it took some courageous role models, allies and advocates several years to challenge prejudices and help bring about that change, and I am proud to have been at the vanguard of that too.

The military has had a zero-tolerance policy to harassment and discrimination for some time now, and responds to prejudice very firmly, but it takes time to lose such a reputation and break its influence, and today's military acknowledges that there is still some work to do.

What work do you currently do for the trans community to increase acceptance and inclusion in the military?

After I left the RAF, I set up my own company to speak about diversity and the benefits of inclusion, using my own story to raise awareness and inspire others to lead better lives. I helped campaign for trans inclusion in the US Armed Forces too and challenged President Trump’s divisive exclusion policy when he took office. 

Since the release of my autobiography True Colours in 2017, I have made over 40 radio and TV appearances, as well as podcasts and printed articles, all helping raise awareness and understanding.

Tell us about your charity Fighting With Pride?

Craig Jones MBE, a veteran RN Lt Cdr and I helped launch Fighting With Pride (FWP) in 2020. We are the UK’s only charity set up to support LGBT+ veterans, serving personnel and families, and we have made incredible progress over the past three years.
Our team of 11 have been raising awareness, building LGBT+ veteran confidence, conducting a research programme, and developing collaborations with organisations throughout England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, to provide and develop better support for veterans, serving personnel and families. 

We are proud of the relationship we have with the Fund who provide invaluable support, enabling FWP to reach out to the RAF community, and signposting support pathways.

What advice would you give to other people in the RAF or who are looking to join the RAF and are part of the LGBTQ+ community?

Each of the services have their own LGBT+ Network, raising awareness and helping inform policies and personnel etc, and the RAF’s is known as the Freedom Network. If you are serving, or a family member of a service person, they are a great source for advice, mediation, or reassurance, or to signpost support where need be.

Why is Pride month so important?

Pride is an opportunity for all members of the LGBTQ+ community and transgender people to raise awareness of the diversity of people in all walks of life and all roles in society, and to inspire people to lead better lives. 

It is an opportunity to show the progress that has been made in equality and inclusion too, but also to show where threat to life and prejudice still exists. It is about friends, family, co-workers, allies, advocates, and all to show their support, so that the minority who still court prejudice are deflated by the visible majority who offer respect, love and support.  

The RAF Benevolent Fund are here to provide financial, practical, and emotional support to those who have served, are serving, and their families. We encourage all members of the RAF LGBTQ+ Family to reach out to us for support. Get in touch with us today if you would like to request our help - please give us a call on 0300 102 1919 or complete our request our help form.