Movember: "We need to break the stigma surrounding mental health"

To mark Movember, a month dedicated to raise awareness of men’s health issues, RAF Benevolent Fund Case Worker Kevin Hughes shares his reflections about mental health as a military veteran, and what encouraged him to seek support when he needed it the most.

Ten years ago, whilst serving as a Warrant Officer Class 1 in the military, I began experiencing bouts of anxiety. At the time, I didn’t understand what I was going through. Life at home was challenging as my young daughter was very unwell, and I found myself battling emotions I had never felt before. Despite my usual strength and resilience, I started retreating into myself, avoiding conversations, and distancing from family.

I felt isolated and confused, struggling to understand why I couldn’t simply 'shake off' these feelings. Even though I was someone who valued fitness and sport, running couldn’t outrun my anxiety. But as a man, I thought I needed to keep this to myself. I was the protector, the strong one. I didn’t know how to ask for help.

Eventually, with the support of my partner, I sought help from a doctor, which led to a referral to the Defence Community Mental Health Services. At my first appointment, I was embarrassed to be seen in uniform. I hid behind a magazine, thinking that asking for help was a sign of weakness. But as I spoke to others in the waiting room – fellow soldiers who were dealing with similar challenges – I realised I wasn’t alone.

That day was a turning point. I understood that it wasn’t a weakness to ask for help; it was a strength. I returned for my next appointment in uniform, determined to show others that it was okay not to be okay.

Since then, I’ve worked to break down the stigma surrounding mental health, both in the military and in everyday life. As Casework Manager at the RAF Benevolent Fund, I draw on my experience to support others. Since the establishment of the case-working function, we conduct comprehensive holistic assessments for every beneficiary, ensuring we fully understand and address their needs. In my role, I regularly speak with beneficiaries in urgent need of assistance, and I apply my skills and experience while always keeping the Fund's core values at the heart of my work. I have witnessed firsthand the challenges men face when it comes to opening up, but I have also seen the profound impact when they do.

To anyone reading this – please reach out if you need help. The hardest step is picking up the phone, but support is there. Let’s continue to break the silence around mental health, especially for men, and show that it’s okay to talk about how we feel.