How the Fund provided respite for Anne and her husband Ian

For Anne and her husband Ian, who have had a difficult time since Ian’s accident and dementia diagnosis, the RAF Benevolent Fund’s Group Friendship Breaks provided an opportunity to have a change of scenery, comfort and time to speak to fellow RAF veterans going through similar life experiences.

On 13 July 2022, former RAF Sergeant Ian Amstad had a serious fall backwards down the stairs at home where he sustained subdural and subarachnoid haemorrhages leading to permanent brain damage. Following the accident Ian was hospitalised for nine weeks, and in that same year, was diagnosed with dementia.

Anne recalled: “It was midnight, and I heard a crash. Ian was slumped up against a wall and there was no response. It was horrendous. I had to give him CPR until the ambulance arrived; I didn’t think he was going to pull through. That was the hardest day of my life.”

Ian was transferred to a nursing home for the next three months. Anne continued: “I just couldn’t bear for him to be there; I wanted him home, so he’s been home ever since and now I am his full-time carer. My daughter helps us too.”

Anne and Ian, who have been married for 35 years, and have been together for a total of 51 years, were invited to attend the Fund’s Group Friendship Breaks by their Community Engagement Worker.

The Breaks help to combat loneliness and social isolation for RAF veterans, their partners and widows.

The five-day break was hosted at Littlecote House Hotel, Berkshire; a Tudor manor dating back to the 1500s. The week was filled with a varied itinerary of fun activities such as archery, shooting, dancing, quizzes and afternoon tea.

Anne said: “The Break was amazing; it’s a beautiful place and the hotel and Fund staff were wonderful. It was a very tiring week for me because I had to do everything for Ian, but having the support from the Fund was wonderful and very enjoyable.

“It’s good for the veterans to be able to get together and talk about their service days. It’s just nice to meet different people – and to have new friends to keep in touch with.”

Ian joined the RAF at the age of 16 and served for 17 years as an armourer, retiring as a Sergeant.

Anne, who worked as a nurse in the NHS for her whole career said: “It’s hard to see him like this, he was always so intelligent, and I just feel so sad for him now. The hospital told us Ian would probably never walk again, but now he is. We just take it one day at a time.”

Anne and Ian both attend a monthly veteran’s coffee morning organised by the Fund’s Community Engagement Workers in Fareham, where they can socialise with other members of the RAF Family.

Anne concluded: “I cannot thank the Community Engagement team enough for their help during the break away. They are truly kind, caring people and I value their involvement in my life with Ian.

“It is so reassuring to know that should we need them; the RAF Benevolent Fund will be there to help us. Their support means a lot to me and for that I am so grateful."